


Unlikely hero

by Wizardchester91



Category: Batman (Comics), Deadpool (Comics)
Genre: Blood, Deadpool does what he wants, F/M, Madness, Mayhem, Meta, Murder, My First Work in This Fandom, My first crossover, psycho love, seriously this is nuts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-12 11:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4477742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wizardchester91/pseuds/Wizardchester91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Its love at first sight when Wade lays eyes on the spunky damsel with the messed up past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginning

Harley sat on the bench, her makeup starting to run from all the crying. "Pull yaself togetha Harley...He ain't worth Cryin' ova." She sniffed to herself. She was a mess and she knew it, but damnit, she loved him, more than She had ever loved anyone else, and it hurt so bad The way he spoke to her, the way he treated her like she was some dumb blonde. And worse, the things he did that no one saw. The way he pulled her hair, or hit her in a fit of psychotic rage. Sure, she could stand up to him when Ivy or Cats was around, but they had no idea. Suddenly her head snapped up as she heard footsteps. She sprang to her feet, clumsily wiping her tears and straightening her skirt.   
"I...is that you puddin?" She called out, her hand settling on the gun in her belt. Her voice shook slightly and she felt vulnerable, nervous.   
There was a chuckle from the darkness and a male voice spoke.  
"Pudding? Well sweet thang if that's what you wanna call me."   
Harley yelped and stumbled backwards, frowning as she tripped and landed with her legs in the air.   
"Ouch! Hey! Who are ya?" She snapped, irritated that some perv had interrupted a rather sensitive moment. She raised her gun and pointed it the direction of the voice. "I mean it! Come out Or I'll shoot!"   
The voice chuckled darkly. "Won't do you much good, gorgeous."  
BANG.  
Harley fired, too upset and irritated to deal with this creep, and stood up, turning on her heel. "Awe...not even killin' can make me feel better." Suddenly there was a very annoyed cry.  
"OW! ARE YOU CRAZY!?" The man complained, stumbling forward clutching his stomach.   
Harley just stared, shocked, then shrugged. "Maybe a little...."   
The man, in a black and red suit, glared at her incredulously. "You actually SHOT me! That really fucking hurt!"   
Harley looked down at where the wound should be."Yeah....about that. Why arent you dead yet?"  
He bent in a coughing fit and stood up, his voice calm. "Can't die." He said simply.   
There was a stunned silence as Harley took this in. "You wha? But...but that's impossible!"  
He smirked. "Nothing's impossible when you are an act of fiction."  
Harley stared at him blankly.   
"Never mind. Taco?" He fished a soggy wrapper out of his belt pouch and offered it, leaning casually against a wall. She shook her head, growing increasingly confused.   
"Suit yourself. Actually I would rather see you un-suited." He shrugged before taking a bite out of the taco, staring pointedly at Harley.  
Finally she spoke. "So...who the heck are ya?"  
He finished munching, tossed the wrapper haphazardly aside, and bent into a deep bow. "Some call me deadpool. Some call me wade. A few call me a couple names i'd rather not repeat. Aaaanyway, who are you, beautiful?"   
Harley giggled, blushing. No one had ever called her beautiful. Sure, Mistah J called her all kinds of other names when he decided he wanted sex, but beautiful was never one of them. She lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply, her Shoulders slumping. "Harley. Harley Quinn. But you can just call me Harley, everyone does." She flashed him a smile, and he swore he felt his heart skip a beat. "Well...Harley. Wanna come cause a little mayhem?Madness? Murder?"   
She beamed, bouncing on her heels. "My three favorite things!"   
He struggled not to stare at her perfect bouncing breasts as He took her hand and off they ran into the night


	2. Middle

Wade leaned back casually as Harley danced, twirling around his small apartment. Her little skirt was flipping up as she twirled, and it deffinately had his attention. Harley paused, fingering the ruby bracelet around her wrist. A matching necklace with Hematite diamond-shaped beads hung around her neck. He had snatched it for her from a jewelry store display.  
"That looks good on you." He said softly, and she blushed again. "So does that."  
She tiptoed up to him, hips swaying. "You sure know how to charm a girl."  
He shrugged. "What can I say? The ladies love me." She paused. Her mind flashed back to another time when those same words met her ears. She shook her head. No. She wasn't gonna think bout that, about HIM. She really liked this dead- Wade. He was different, he listened. Well....sorta. It was obvious that he was not all there, but was she anymore? She was a very different girl from the over confident Dr. Harleen Quinzelle. She looked down to realize that she had settled herself in his lap. This somewhat surprised her as she didn't remember moving. He flinched as she slowly lifted his mask."Going for the mask already? Damn and on the first Date too." He chuckled, grabbing her wrists. Her boobs were in his face, and god they were PERFECT. A sudden rather uncomfortable bulge appeared at the front of his trousers. Harley looked down, startled, then back up at him. She giggled, reaching for his mask again. He helped her lift it, their fingertips brushing. Harley stared at the horribly disfigured face. Two bright green eyes, full of mischief, stared up at her. She smiled, running her thumb over his cheek. "I like a guy with scars. Gives him character!" He winked and pulled her close, the fork of her legs resting on that bulge. She laughed against his lips, her mind dizzy. She had never...Mistah J was a lot of things, but romantic was not one of them. "A girl could get used to this!" She laughed as he made a show of carrying her to the bed. His last words before they dissapeared in a tangle of arms and legs were "Oh, sweet relief! I'm having fun tonight!" Later, when he was spent, and she was curled beside him, a smile on her lips, (FIVE ROUNDS, HOLY CRAP) he stared down at her. He realised he knew nothing about her. "Time to fix that little issue." He mused. He tiptoed out of the room, walking to a hall closet and rifling through box after box of comics while gnawing on a microwave burrito. Finally he began to read. His stomach clenched at this joker dude. The more he read, the angrier he got. This guy was a Grade-A douchebag. And as he looked up, staring ominously into the far distance, he knew with certainty what he had to do. "Somebody's gotta take this guy out. Yay! More murder!"


	3. End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update this. I hope you enjoy as...well seeing as its a crossover I'm not sure how many followers this ship has. Hooray for abusive boyfriends getting what they deserve.

It didn't take wade long to decide what needed to be done. Harley was a beautiful little minx, and to think someone was putting her through that...that horror...it sent shivers down his spine. He might be a bit of a jerk himself, but Harley deserved so much more. The way she had looked at him, guarded and at the same time timid, but trusting. It set his heart on edge and made blood rush to his head in ways that it hadn't in years. He thought of the jewelry she now wore-  
"Seriously could you shut up with the mushy stuff? You're making me wanna hurl."  
-But...I...  
"We get it. I'm falling in love with her. Now can we please move on to the part where I kick this clown's ass?" Wade glared at me in exasperation.  
\- Oh fine. Now stop interrupting.  
(About an hour later)  
It didn't take him long to find Joker's hideout. In fact, the guy was kinda obvious with the whole evil-psycho-clown-crime boss thing. He tiptoed along the rooftop, ducking down into an air duct as a guy with muscles the size of mountains ambled past. "Jeeze! Lay off the steroids. Gonna have raisins for balls." He muttered to himself, shaking his head in wonderment after the guy was gone. He darted down a corridor, following the sound of voices as one in particular held his focus.  
"Allow me. Harley? HARLEY! GET OUT HERE STUPID GIRL!!" Wade followed the voice to a room, with a man in a deep purple suit standing in front of a board coved in maps, thumbtacks, and odd slips of paper and lists. Wade...no...DEADPOOL slinked closer, aware of how blindingly visible his suit was. Sure enough, as Jerk face screamed for Harley again, he stepped forward to answer the clown. "Shes not coming." He said from a heavily shadowed area of wall he was standing next to.Joker's face twisted with confusion and fury, the scars on his face ugly as hell. "Where is she?" The clown snarled, and Wade...no, DEADPOOL, chuckled darkly, stepping forward. "Away from your crazy ass. Which by the way, she said you were ugly, but...yeesh." Joker raised a gun, leveling it at Deadpool's head. "You tell me where she is and maybe, Maybe, I won't kill you." The clown sneered. Deadpool reached behind him, drawing the katanas strapped to his back. "Oh yeah. This is gonna be fun." He grinned before running full tilt at Jokes. A hail of gunfire erupted around him and he danced across the ground, dodging most of the bullets, a few of them leaving small superficial wounds. Within seconds he had dispatched Joker's men, rushing past them and plunging his blade in their gut, or slashing their throats and causing a shower of blood accompanied by panicked, garbled cries. Half of the men fled, slipping on blood. "Come back here! You come back and fight!" Jokee shrieked desperately, as Deadpool rolled his eyes. He stalked toward the man in the bloodstained purple suit. "It's just you and me, Jokes on you." He mused for a second about how that taunt really made no sense, before whipping to the side and aiming a swift kick to joker's chest. With a grunt the man staggered backward, firing a shot that punched a hole in Deadpool's leg. "Ow! Ok, now you REALLY pissed me off." He growled as the blade slipped forward, faster than Jokers eyes could follow, and half of Jokers gun hand lay in a growing pool of blood. "How...what the HELL are you?!" He shrieked, cradling his hand as blood gushed between his fingers. Deadpool sneered. "You can call me karma. Your girlfriend calls me Big Daddy." He smirked, winking at joker's slack jawed expression. With another swing of his blade, blood bloomed in a thick line across Joker's chest, and the man teetered, growing pale as he dropped to his knees. "Ya'know, if you had treated her like a lady, i wouldn't have had to come all the way out here and set you straight." Deadpool said calmly as he pulled joker up by his hair. Dropping the sword he pulled a knife from his boot. "Oh well." Jokers eyes widened and went dull as blood splashed onto the floor from the gaping hole in his throat. Wade hummed a happy tune as he cut through joker's neck, undil a severed head hung in his hand, and whistling, headed back home, to his new girl. b


	4. Encore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because I was asked nicely.

She woke up in his arms, Safe and warm for the first time in a long time. Blinking, she stared down at wade, slack-jawed and snoring softly, a trail of drool dripping onto his shoulder. She giggled softly, trying not to wake him. It boggled her mind how her whole life could turn around in a night . She would have continued pondering were it not for the fact she really had to pee. She stood, wandering into the bathroom, and frowned. Her toothbrush and makeup bag were on the sink. There was a note- "look in the bedroom... Second door on the left." She relived herself then cautiously followed the instructions. Her clothes were in a bag on the bed. Her guns hung in the cabinet. Her hammer was propped in a corner. On the bed was a tattered bloodstained baby doll. She squealed in delight, then a thought paused her...she tiptoed out of the room, not wanting to wake him just yet, deciding she needed a shower. She moaned in delight...hot water. Joker never bothered paying bills. She realised her hair was caked with greasepaint, and scrubbed furiously. For some reason the trace Joker left on her made her feel dirty, and she retched, scrubbing again and again. She looked down her body, the fading bruises, self harm scars, a burn on her hip. Tears filled her eyes. "Oh puddin...why'd ya do me durty....all I wanted was ta love ya...." She sobbed, curling up in the bottom of the tub. Her throat suddenly was swollen thickly, and she didn't bother to hide her tears this time. Joker used to mock her when she cried, when she whimpered as he grabbed her throat and squeezed. When wade found her, she was glassy-eyed and curled in the tub, shivering under the ice cold water. He turned it off and lifted her out, murmuring to her. "He'll find me." She whimpered. "He always does. He'll find me and kill you....and take me back." Her voice shook with fear. Wade shook his head, smirking. "Not this time, toots." But Harley wasn't listening. "Boy will he be mad! Mistah jay don't like it when you touch his things, not one bit..." She dragged in a shaking breath. "Ooh...and when he sees...when he sees I...I LET you...oh he's gonna teach me a lesson...he always teaches me...always..." She broke into hysterical laughter, a broken and disturbing cackle. Wade shook his head. "Damn. And I thought I had issues. You....are something else." An idea hit him. He dragged her to her feet, practically carrying her to a plastic trash bag sitting on the table. It contained an oddly bloody object. "My little present." He whispered, and she shakily opened the bag, looked inside, and screamed. A bloody mop of stringy green hair hung into glassy, dead green eyes. Yellow teeth slack jawed, grinning. And those scars. The scars that filled her nightmares and wet dreams. She shook a finger at the severed head. "My...my puddin! How did you..." Wade stepped between her and the bag. " he can't hurt you baby...he can't. " and for the first time, she could breathe.


End file.
